Pass the salt please?

Oxford is a place steeped in longstanding tradition. While there are far too many locked doors and rules for my taste, I can have respect for the customs. The sacredness to which the British hold every day occurrences is very different than anything I have ever experienced in America.

The first time I ate in college for dinner made me feel like I should have taken an etiquette class before attending. St. Catz is known for being more informal than most other colleges, meaning we don’t have to wear our academic gowns to formal dinners. Students file in to long tables and wait until the fellows (professors, who are required to wear academic gowns) enter the room. We are then expected to stand and be quiet while the fellows approach the High Table, located at the front of the room, which is horizontal to our vertical tables. They stand behind their chairs until a gavel is struck, signifying it is acceptable to sit down again. Then, to my great amusement, people in bow ties served a three-course meal. The food was decently delicious, considering my flat mates and I have been practically living off pasta for the past few weeks. Each place setting even had multiple sets of silverware, which to me is always the fancy indicator telling me I should be sitting up straighter. There were also rules about when it was alright to begin eating, and whether or not you could borrow anything off your neighboring table. My friend and I sat next to some students who were nice enough to give us a crash course in what to expect. Really it was all a matter of common sense and courtesy, but the fact that everyone knew and followed these rules was what I found interesting. 

Another surprising thing is the elitism involved in much of the policies. Meaning you can’t go into other people’s colleges to eat, unless you are invited, you can’t use their libraries, and I think you just get looked at strangely if you are in their common rooms. The lucky thing I have found though, is that whenever I am confused about one or more rules, I just say I am a visiting student and people take pity. However polite have been, there is still a definite feeling of isolation. This is sad for me because I was expecting to be much more integrated into the community. Of course, it has only been 3 weeks and these kinds of things take time, but I had expected it to be slightly different. It’s all simply a matter of adjustment though and I have been accepting it as a challenge that will be worth the energy to overcome.